Differentiating between the event & the outcome

I heard about the first sport's event that my 3 year old niece participated in, recently. I was curious to know her reactions and feelings post the event. I was told that she actually did not connect the prize she won to the race! She thought she's getting a gift!

I instinctively smiled as I read that, then paused and reflected. There was a lesson there in what she did, for me.

As I look at things as an adult - an 'event' and its 'outcome' are inseparable in my mind. We are taught as children through the method of reward and punishment to repeat good behaviour and keep away from naughty deeds. The act getting linked to the reward probably sets in a cycle in motion. As we grow older we learn to predict the pay-offs associated with events, and our focus of attention is divided as much on the effort to make the event possible as it is on the pay-off, if not more. Focusing on the pay-off in turn breeds a sense of competition, a feeling of expectation and a preoccupation with the 'self'.

Breaking out of the expectation of a pay-off is a truly liberating experience. It is probably what an artist or a sportsman would feel, lost in the depths of his performance or game where the outside world and its rules cease to matter. The thought in itself exudes beauty, the feeling worth striving for!

In my effort to strive for this feeling of bliss and unlearn some of the behaviour that comes in the way, I will remember this - there are no prizes, just gifts and gifts can come my way any time and in any shape! Enjoying an experience is in itself the gift.

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On a related note - while writing this post I pondered over the word 'adulterate' - To make impure by adding extraneous, improper, or inferior ingredients. It reminded me about how we as grown-ups sometimes impose our world view on children and in doing so sometimes 'adult-erate' their thinking.

One

Where do I begin
To separate what is yours
And what is mine

The breath and beat
that keep me alive
do i call them yours
or mine?

The thoughts, feelings
could i create them
without you?
Then those are not
solely mine too

Like lovers
Parted - in time
Each day, each minute
Each life that goes by
Without you
Is a burden
My soul bears

If You and I
Are destined
To be one - in time
Then what should I call yours?
And what should I call mine?

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P. S - This thought has evolved in time. Part 1 - Relinquish, Part 2 - The sun and his twin