My very own bullshit generator

Some one I once worked for had a rare gift...he could speak a minute long sentence in using actual...real English words, without making any sense whatsoever!! At first I thought it was a simple thing to do and an important skill set to have...so I sat down one day and started to write a sentence that made no sense...and i just could not do it! I was shocked at my own incompetence. I was also sad that I would never learn the art of talking nonsense.

But I never give up on anything so easily (for those of you who know me, you know how true that is). So, from that day onwards, whenever i sat in meetings with him I would take copious notes of all that he said. God knows! I treasured my note pad more than my life. It traveled with me every where i went. It saw me through some really tough times. Whenever i was faced with a question, I would peak into my little nonsense book and utter something inane and vacuous...it worked so beautifully. Nobody would get offended at what i said, and i would get away without committing to do any work. Ah! Those blissful days!

A colleague of mine, jealous that she was...could not stand my bliss. She lay her evil eyes and her fat ugly hands painted with hideous nail colour, on my little nonsense book....one day...and stole it!!!! I could not find it anywhere. I had no clue she had it, until one day I heard her speak...She stole a line - right out of that book of mine. I could not do a thing about it. After that day, I was condemned to work! Whenever some one asked me a question or spoke to me about my willingness to take on a piece of work...I would scramble for words...but nothing would come to mind. My words would not come to my rescue.

But yesterday i stumbled upon...a bull-shit-generator. It can create bull shit at the press of a button. Believe me, you must go and try it. It could be a life saver in times when all heads at an important meeting are turned towards you to say something 'significant'...or when you are running to catch the evening movie while boss stops you on the way to ask for your opinion on some presentation he has just made....some of it's output is just mind blowingly cool!

Here's a sample

We should all work towards 'generating plug-and-play communities' to 'incentivize efficient mindshare' that will help us 'integrate open-source action-items'...sounds intelligent...doesn't it?

Categories: Humor_