Here comes the DIVA

I have a new neighbor…at work! The other day she strutted in and a few steps behind her was the office boy who displayed a fine act of balance…potted plant in one hand, a rather queer looking lampshade in the other, clutching onto a pink shopping bag – those handmade paper varieties that one would find only at very expensive stores. Who was she and what was she doing here? Boss had mentioned that somebody new would be joining us soon…but this kind of a scenario was certainly not what one would associate with a new employee…or any employee!

I remember my first day at work…when I had almost fought with hubby dear to reach office on time (to create the right impression or rather to not create a wrong one – only to sit at the reception and read whatever I could find in English – 3 newspapers, 5 take away menus, some random things hung on the wall announcing how good the company had performed and how important the spirit of teamwork is, a calendar that had thoughts for each month of which had turned the pages over to take a sneak preview at what would keep me inspired for the next quarter)

Well that was me…but Ms chiffon saaree here had summoned a bunch of elves to 'set up' her place…Can somebody please connect this lamp… and pin this (happened to be a placard that said OM)...she even had a footstool to rest her legs!

In conversation with friends I have realized that she is not a lone ranger. Her tribe is growing . Most of my friends complain about how they had been victimized by her presence. By her's i mean, that of her clan. The clan of ATDs (Attitude Throwing Divas). There is them and then there is the rest of us FOSUDs (Full of Substance UnderDogs). And corporate life is all about the on going battle between the two, while the ATDs are playing the game for power, FOSUDs to keep up their dignity and pride.

You can make out an ATD when you see one. She'd (I dont know yet whether there is a male equivalent) be the one who always looks very well put together..hair in place...lipstick intact...no creases on clothes...and especially so at the end of the day. A cigarette would not be comepletely out of place in her manicured hands.

Poor FOSUD on the other hand would, despite all attempts to not look haggard, in the first hour at work ends up looking like a cross between a harrased housewife and a street urchin.

This is as much true about her as it is about her workdesk. The ATDs desk looks like a miniature museum that she can narrate annecdotes about when boss leans by her shoulder raptured by the Channel Pink that she would have paid a fortune for... a rare species of bonsai, photos of her holiday in bali...and ofcourse her coffee mug with the london tube map on it.

On the FOSUD desk...if you manage to look behind the clutter of work files and books...you find pens that dont work in a coffee mug that has a broken handle (given by the office boy who took pity on her state of affairs)...in there you'd also find a stappler that has perhaps run out of pins...a glimpse at the softboard and you'd see takeaway menus ofcourse...her only saving grace when she sits back late in the office...pictures of family in khandala by the dam (at best) and a couple of inspiring quotes...never say die...be the change that you want to see around yourself and some such stuff.

At a meeting with the big boss or a client, you'd find the FOSUD making feeble attempts to make a point...which ofcourse will not be heard by anyone except her....it is uncanny how after a couple of mins...someone else will say the very same thing that FOSUD has been mumbling all along. But FOSUD is a lady with the never say die attitude...and on hearing the echo of her own thoughts in some corner of the room...makes yet another attempt to be heard...ya i was just thinking of that...infact i want to add to what he said....by which time the discussion moves to some other topic.

Meetings are an ATDs playground...she is completely at ease in the midst of people...and when ATD speaks...people (do not listen)...they just stare at her in amazement....which often ends in serious nods by some...to more vocal applauds by others confirming her as part of their club. Ofcourse if one were to only listen to what she said...one would not be nodding in approval but utter confusion...since her sentences are usually long winding, full of superfluous words that often have a lot of 'R's & 'A's in them allowing her to bring out the best of her unidentifiable accent.

Substance does not count as much in corporate life as attitude does. Its ironical and I have often found myself asking why? I have spoken and discussed and hypothesized ad nauseum but have not found any rational reason why people with 'just' attitude and nothing else go places while people who have a solid thought process backing them but lack the chutzpah struggle twice as hard. In my quest to understand this irony of life, a friend threw some light and what she said made some sense though not all. People who dont throw attitude around, are somewhere under valuing themselves and when YOU, yourself do not give you the worth you deserve...then why will somebody else. The other reason being...in evaluating choices and arriving at decisions...who said human beings are led by rational faculties anyway?

Categories: Humor_